successfully failing

I have decided I am a successful failure.

I fail at being a good daughter. I love my parents, don't get me wrong, but, I have never quite measured up to their expectations. Straight 'A's in school were met with "that's good but maybe you could try a little harder and get 'A+s". ( seriously) Friends never were quite what they wanted for me and boys?, don't get me started. I was the typical rebellious teen and in some ways have yet to outgrow that. In fact, I am sitting here writing this while enjoying a coffee with brandy. Sorry Mom, yes I know I have diabetes and shouldn't drink......
I have failed at being a Mother. I never spoke baby talk to my children. I took them out to see houses that had burned down so they wouldn't play with matches. We went to cemeteries to see who could find the oldest headstone so they wouldn't fear them. I didn't cry when they started school. I am not experiencing any 'empty nest syndrome' now that they have both moved into their own places. I miss them (sometimes, but my aim is improving!). I am not at all upset by the passing of time, but, rather excited for them that they get to start their own adventures.
I also failed at my chosen career. After spending eleven years with some of the best people in the world I am now 'damaged goods'. I can no longer do what I trained and fought for. The time I did get to spend doing it was some of the best and worst of my life. I, however, have no regrets. I would not change a thing. I cared too much and that was my undoing, but, that's who I am.
I figure you have a choice in life. You can spend everyday watching over your shoulder waiting for someone or something to stab you in the back. Or, you can just decide to make the best of what life throws at you and be happy. I choose to laugh, be happy, take what I am given and make the best of it. Life is great if you want it to be!